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Adoption Stories

Carolyn S.

When I was asked to serve as on the board of Adoption Bridges of Kentucky, Inc. I was honored to do so.  I am the proud parent of five wonderful children, three of whom entered my life through the miracle of adoption.  I could not have imagined, prior to the birth of my son eleven years ago, the profound love that I would feel for him and his two younger sisters, who also entered our family through adoption.  I read an article just yesterday that contained a phrase that very precisely describes the whole adoption experience—“love beyond reason”.

I have told those professionals involved in the adoption experience that they are the doing the work of God when they help to create families through adoption.  I think that the part of it that never ceases to amaze me is the unwavering belief of adoptive parents that they have been given the child that they were meant to parent from the beginning of time.  Whether the child has come to them from the other side of the world or the other side of this city, most adoptive parents cannot bear to think of having another child in their homes and in their hearts.

This agency and its caring and devoted staff will accomplish miracles.  Over the coming years they will bring untold joy to hundreds of parents and children, and comfort and care to the birthmothers who, through their love, have brought the children into the world.  I am proud to be one of the members of the first board of directors and I am happy to be a part of these miracles.

Laura R. and Trevor B.

I was eighteen years old when I left a routine gynecological visit with the news I was pregnant.  Neither my boyfriend nor I had attended college, and we didn’t have much money.  The idea of having a child at that point was not only scary, it was unfeasible, and it felt selfish.  I went to “options counseling” at Planned Parenthood and was given a pamphlet about adoption.  My boyfriend and I read over the information carefully, and became extremely interested and excited when we found that the agency we selected afforded the opportunity of an open adoption.

Our first visit to the agency was much more inviting than we expected.  We were given the profiles of several families looking to adopt, and sent home with the reassurance that we didn’t have to settle on a decision, and that we were never locked in to the adoption.  After reviewing the profiles, we found a family in the first batch that matched the ideals, values and lifestyle we imagined for our child.  From there, we met the family, received help from the agency with our living expenses, and grew so close to the adoptive family that having our child no longer felt like a burden or a loss.  The adoptive mother went with me on several doctor appointments and we met them every week for dinner, discussing how our child would grow up, how the adoption would be explained to him, and sharing our excitement over his arrival.

The night Stephen, our son, was born, the four of us had just departed from dinner, when we had to make a sudden call for them to meet us at the hospital.   There we stayed, all four of us in the same room, for the next three days through my recovery.  Not only were the adoptive parents able to witness the birth, the adoptive mother was even coaching me through labor.  Because we had spent so much time discussing personal boundaries, emotional needs, and mutual joy in relation to the big day, each set of parents was able to spend quality time with Stephen while we stayed together in the hospital.  They allowed us time to bond and really contemplate our decision to allow for Stephen’s adoption, and because we were so sure of our decision, we allowed them time to rejoice as new parents and bond with him from the early hours of his life.

We continue to receive letters and pictures from Stephen’s family, and we respond to them as well.  Because we have remained close to his family and have knowledge of how he grows up, how he looks and the opportunities he has, it has been impossible for us to regret our decision.  By the same token, Stephen is growing up with the understanding of his adoption, and is even playmates with other children adopted through the agency.   None of us ever have or ever will feel ashamed of or stigmatized for our involvement in the adoption process, but we all feel extremely blessed for the doors it has opened.

Belinda

Most birthmother testimonials are written a few weeks after the adoption; this one comes 18 years later.  With a possible reunion with my daughter on the horizon, I look back at the adoption process and review the following questions.

Why adoption?  I suppose all decisions to place a child stem from not being able to provide for them – whether emotionally, financially, physically, etc.  But, why did I choose adoption?  Actually, I think it chose me.  Being pregnant, unwed, unemployed and not part of a religious community left me feeling hopeless.  I spent months avoiding the situation and hiding the obvious as if it would go away.  The father, who I was no longer with, agreed to the adoption plan.  I thank God daily that Carolyn and her agency were presented to me first, and like sunlight flooding a dark room, suddenly I was empowered; I had a choice; I was in control.

How was I treated during the process?  I was treated very well and quite respectfully.  Medical, financial and legal concerns were addressed, but more importantly, I had access to a wonderful counselor who supported my decision of adoptive parents (who, by the way, still send letters and pictures), and my counselor helped me sort and process my feelings.  I shall always be grateful for her.

Finally, was adoption the right decision?  Yes – absolutely!  My daughter has grown up in a two parent, God based, loving, and financially stable, happy home – one that 18 years ago I could not offer nor fathom.  True, my life and circumstances have changed and I would welcome my daughter anytime, but 18 years ago I could not tell the future; I had no crystal ball, so I made a GREAT decision based on what I knew at the time – that I loved my daughter enough to let her go.

Susan M.

Jack and I have three adorable adopted children.  They are 7, 5 and 3 — two boys and a girl.  I was in the delivery room with two of our children and saw our little girl when she was a day old.  The staff at Adoption Bridges successfully handled all three adoptions.  Each situation was different and each required a unique kind of tender loving care, and they were there for it all — counseling for a birthmother, working with us as a family, coordinating home studies or just lending an ear.  They were always professional, gentle, loving and sensitive.

I truly believe that adoption is a Win! Win! Win!  Usually it’s not the right time in the birthparents’ lives to parent and they choose another path for themselves and their child.  I have the utmost love and respect for our birthmothers.  They chose us to parent when they could not and they will always hold a special spot in our hearts.  Adoption Bridges was not our first stop on the road to adoption.  Upon advice from well-meaning friends we went to a “respected” attorney in California and a large agency out of state.  When we first met with the group at Adoption Bridges we were told that there were lots of babies in Kentucky that needed good homes and we didn’t need to go further.  They were so right!  Many times I’m asked who we used for adoptions, and I never hesitate to recommend Adoption Bridges.

Tim and Lisa

Our story begins when my husband and I were married and immediately began to try to start a family.  After 4 ½ years of unsuccessful fertility treatments we came to the conclusion that adoption was the answer to our prayers for children.  We contacted Adoption Bridges of Kentucky and were immediately impressed with the passion and professionalism the staff possessed for the adoption process.  We came away from our first meeting with a very real understanding that adoption was not for the faint of heart but if we utilized ABK that we would have the baby we’d been longing for.  Our first son was adopted through the agency within 6 months and our second son was adopted 2 years later.

We selected ABK because they allowed us choose the perimeters we were comfortable with regarding our baby.  With our first son’s adoption, we were heavily involved prior to his birth by taking Birthmom to doctor’s visits and supported her in the delivery room when our son came into the world.  Our second son was 10 months old before his Birthmom decided to place him for adoption.  We started our transition visits with him shortly after being chosen.  The one-hour visits turned into one-day visits; which turned into weekends.  Finally, after 6 weeks of transition visits, he came home to stay with us; the day after his first birthday.  We fell in love with both our sons instantly and can’t imagine life without them.

Adoption is very emotionally charged.  The birthmother needs support, the adoptive parents need training and guidance and the child needs a future.  The staff at ABK is very dedicated to each step of the process and their passion is unrelenting.  Words cannot describe the happiness our family has experienced through adoption – ABOK was part of that and for that we are grateful.

Debbie and Lou

We decided to adopt after more than five years of infertility and specialized testing.  We considered several other options, but we decided to pursue adoption after talking to several agencies.  Our friends and family were supportive of our decision to adopt and we all celebrated with much anticipation each time we were chosen to receive a baby.  I will never forget how special it was when we brought them home with us.  Our lives have been changed in so many ways and we are so thankful for the blessings we have received….all made possible through adoption.

We have a beautiful daughter who is 8 and a wonderful son who is 5 years old.  For years we dreamed of being parents, so it is hard for us to find the words to express how blessed we feel to have the family we have now.  We thank God every day that there are caring and loving birth parents out there that choose adoption over other alternatives.  We are also thankful that there are organizations available that facilitate the matching of birth parents to adoptive parents and provide support and assistance throughout the process until the adoption is finalized and beyond.  Every opportunity we have to educate people about our adoption reminds us of the miracles we have received through adoption.  Our dreams of being parents and becoming a family have come true and for that we will be forever grateful.

Hilda L.

What can I say?  What words could I use that would adequately express my appreciation for the experience of adopting a son to mother?  None!  There are no words to adequately express the depth of gratitude to the birth mother, gratitude to the agency who worked to ensure the process, and no words to say how it has changed my life.  Nothing compares with being a mother. Nothing is loved as much as my son, and adoption made it all possible.  As a single, older adoption applicant, I had been turned away, sometimes kindly, sometimes not so kindly, when it was suggested that I should look to foreign adoption, older or higher risk children.  However, I wanted that newborn infant experience.  There just seemed little hope for that idea.  And in fact, one month before I met my son’s birth mother, I filed the international papers and sent the check. Happily though, while that was processing, a birth mother, wisely I think, decided that a single, older woman could be the best parent for her child – after all she was a single parent herself – struggling to work full time, complete her college degree, and raising her child.

The first time I met the attorney, she was business-like and to the point.  It was clear to me that this organization meant business, but most of all they gave me hope, telling me it would probably happen, but they could not say when.  And, it did happen.  From that point on, I trusted the agency.  I followed their advice, and while it took several months and I almost gave up, together we persevered.  Once I was chosen, the process went smoothly and I continue to be thankful for the young woman who gave me something no amount of money could buy – the experiences of being a mom.

My son is bright, beautiful and healthy!  What else could a parent want in a son?  Yes, it is a challenge and, yes, sometimes I feel overwhelmed at the responsibility, but mostly I treasure the opportunity, the possibilities, the time I have with him.  The birthmother, the agency and my son have filled my life with more love than I could ever deserve, no matter if I lived to be a million years old!  Words are inadequate.

Patti and David

Adoption healed the hurt of being a childless couple.  We have three wonderful children, and our lives are forever complete because of their adoption.  Not a day goes by that we don’t feel gratitude to Adoption Bridges and to the beautiful birth mothers that made it possible for us to become a family.

The most special part of our adoptions is that they are open adoptions.  We feel that this allows all involved to fully participate in the life long process of having a successful adoption.  Being able to share photos and letters with birth mothers has been a positive experience for them and for us.  People have asked us if open adoption is scary.  We tell them that it is comforting because there are no secrets.

If I could share one thought with a perspective adoptive parent, I would tell them that the gift of adoption is the best gift that they will ever receive.   If I could express one feeling to a perspective birth parent, it would be of gratitude for sharing the best gift you could ever give to someone.

Monti and Denise

Words can’t express how thankful we are that adoption became a part of our lives.  Without the adoption workers, we would not have our precious baby girl with us today.  We will forever be grateful and blessed due to their hard work and determination.  The entire staff was both compassionate and driven to help make our dream come true.  It brings us great joy in knowing that this agency will continue to help couples just like us receive the greatest gift – children of our own to love.